I have often joked that if you want to know something about how the internet works, all you need to do is find the nearest six year old. However, on a more scary note ... if you want to know how to keep the nearest six year old safe on the internet, where do you go?
First, let me say that it is always a good idea to contact your Internet Service Provider (ISP) and ask them what they recommend. Most Online Service Providers (such as AOL) and some ISPs have various levels of access. Using these settings you can restrict and/or monitor the types of things the child has access to. There are also many different programs available for download on the web which monitor your child's activities and doesn't let them get into dangerous areas. It isn't a foolproof method, but it always helps.
The most direct answer to the question that I can give actually falls more into the responsibility of being a parent than anything else. It is my opinion that the best way to protect a child on the internet is by taking an active roll in their lives and by teaching them about what kinds of things could happen.
Here is a list of the warning signs that your child might just be at risk.
Your child spends a lot of time online, especially at night, or on weekends.
While this could be harmless, it could also be a BIG warning sign. Children that become victims often spend long periods of time online, chatting in chat rooms, or talking using an instant messenger program. While they may be doing valuable things, such as forming friendships with peers, or doing homework - it could also be a warning sign. It's always a good idea to keep your eyes and ears open.
You find questionable material on your computer.
This sign is, perhaps a bit more obvious. If you happen to find things of a questionable nature on the computer, such as pornography or instructions on how to make bombs - this is a clear sign that something is terribly wrong.
Your child is getting or making calls from/to people you don't know.
Predators on the internet often find that chatting in chat rooms, e-mailing, and other various forms of "online communication" are somewhat tiresome, and often initiate contact via the telephone. While there may be no real good way of knowing who your child is calling or who is calling them, there are a few things you can do. This includes keeping note of strange numbers appearing on your Caller ID or watching your long distance bill for strange numbers.
Your child receives mail or gifts from people you don't know.
One way predators quickly gain a child's trust is by sending them gifts - usually something your child likes, such as baseball or Pokemon cards, or babydolls. If your child suddenly has things that you didn't buy them, this could be a warning sign.
Your child turns off the monitor or changes screens when you walk in the room.
This is a very good sign that children are up to things they don't want you to know about. And, like I said above - keep your eyes and ears open.
Your child becomes withdrawn from the family.
This could, possibly, be one of two bad things. The first possibility is that your child has already fallen victim, and this is their way of coping. This could also be an attempt by a predator to drive a wedge between parent and child, thus making the encounter less a personal threat.
Your child uses someone else's account to access the internet.
Even if your household doesn't own a computer, your child can still access the internet at several numerous places, such as at friends houses or even at many public libraries. Another thing to keep in mind is that predators often set up accounts for their pray through online services or ISPs to better hide their actions. Do I need to mention keeping your eyes and ears open again?
If you suspect your children have fallen victim to online predators (or even if the conditions are right for them to become victimized) there are some things you can do.
Open up to your children. Tell them of your fears, and tell them of what can possibly happen to victimized children. Listen to their responses. And remember, as I said above - one of the best ways to keep your children safe is by educating them about what kinds of things might happen.
Review what is on your child's computer. If you don't know how, find out by asking co-workers, your friends, or anyone else who might know. Ask everyone if you have to - hearing the word NO a few times is enough a price to pay for keeping your child safe, right?
Keep tabs on the Caller ID unit on your phone. Another piece of advice would be to contact the phone company to prevent unknown numbers from being able to call you. (This also helps prevent telemarketers calling you too.)
Monitor your child's internet access and usage. Although I say this, I must also give a warning - a child can also take this as a sign you don't trust them, or as an invasion of their privacy. All I can say is to use your best judgement.
Should you find that your child has been sent pornography, if you find child porn, or if you find evidence that a predator has contacted your child, then contact your local police department, the FBI, or the The National Center For Missing And Exploited Children immediately.
Here is what you can do to help minimize the risks your children face when on the internet.
Talk with your children. I can't say this enough. Talk with your children. Take an active role in their development.
Spend time with your children online and let them know about some of the websites you are interested in, or that you think they may like.
Keep computers in rooms at the house where everyone has access to them.
Make use of parental control features of your online service, or download monitoring programs to help keep them safe.
Randomly check your children's e-mail accounts. Even if you do nothing but just check for names you don't find familiar.
Teach your child responsibilities, such as the acceptable use of chat rooms or e-mail.
Find out what your local schools, libraries, friend's, are doing to keep children who access the internet from their computers safe.
Keep in mind that if your child is involved with a predator, that it isn't the child's fault, and that they are the victim.
Teach your child never to share information about themselves with strangers.
Teach your child not to upload their picture to people they don't know, or to post them to websites of any kind (even their own personal get-to-know-me website)
Teach your child never to respond to anything of a sexual, harassing, obscene, or otherwise questionable nature.
©1997; Corky McGraw